I'm not dead yet.

Busy young lad that I am, I've been unable to drag up meaningful things to post, so I leave you, my loyal and non-existent readers, this glorious celebration of all things Ork (with a "k"), courtesy of the Beast of Armageddon, Ghazgkull Mag Ururk Thraka (and copyright Games Workshop of course):

"I'm da hand of Gork and Mork, dey sent me to rouse up da boyz to crush and kill 'cos da boyz forgot what dere 'ere for. I woz one of da boyz till da godz smashed me in da 'head an' I 'membered dat Orks is meant to conquer and make slaves of everyfing they don't kill.

I'm da profit of da Waaagh an' whole worlds burn in my boot prints. On Armour-Geddem I led da boyz through da fire deserts and smashed da humies' metal cities to scrap. I fought Yarik, old one-eye at Tartarus, an' he fought good but we smashed iz city too.

I'm death to anyfing that walks or crawls, where I go nothin' stands in my way. We crushed da stunties on Golgotha, an' we caught old one-eye when da speed freeks blew da humies' big tanks ta bits. I let 'im go 'cause good enemies iz 'ard to find, an' Orks need good enemies ta fight like they need meat to eat an' grog ta drink.

I iz more cunning than a Grot an' more killy dan a dread, da boyz dat follow me can't be beat. On Pissenah we jumped da marine-boyz an' our bosspoles was covered in da helmets we took from da dead 'uns. We burned dere port an' killed dere bosses an' left nothin' but ruins behind.

I'm Warlord Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka an' I speak wiv da word of da gods. We iz gonna stomp da 'ooniverse flat an' kill anyfing that fights back. We iz gonna do this coz' we're Orks an' we was made to fight an' win."

Priceless.